Today, I went to the Seodaemun Museum of History. 46 years ago, Earth was created. There was a Big Bang, and later, Earth was made. At first, Earth was just a big rock filled with magma, but after a long time, the heat got weaker. So, living creatures finally appeared, like bacteria. One famous bacteria is called "Cyanobacteria". This made it possible for us and other living things on the ground to breathe oxygen. This age is called the "Precambrian Era". Next, the "Palezonic Era" was the turning point for living things. Amphibians, reptiles, and plants appeared in the world. Then, there was the "Mesozoic Era", or the age of the dinosaurs. Finally, in the "Cenozoic Era", mammals were born.

Also, humans evolved. The first people were the Australopithecus. They were almost similar to monkeys. Secondly, there were the Homo habillis, who used stone tools first. The next humans were the Homo erectus. They were smarter than the humans before, so they found out how to utilize fire. Next came the Homo sapiens, and Homo sapiens sapiens came in the final stage. 

These are important facts about the Museum of History. Because of this point, all people love to study about living science and Earth.

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Great work! Try to work on your sentence structure, and simplify some of your phrases. Other than that, good job!